The Big Hurt: Clench and release
Smooth jazz, revenge fantasies, and . . . wangs  

By David Thorpe   |     Image c/o Kate McGovern

TED NUGENT'S VALENTINE'S DAY PLAYLIST | Watchful editor Lance Gould sent me this gem: the Nuge has, for no identifiable reason, created a romantic playlist for Valentine's Day. (Since I slipped that other one in way past its expiration date, I figure I can get away with this, too - it's still Valentine Season, right?) In case you were wondering how a soul-patched conservative luminary gets slinky after a long, bloody day of de-antlering slain ungulates - and I know it's almost freaky because you were just wondering exactly that on the train this morning - here's the list:

1 Howlin' Wolf, "Wang Dan Doodle"
2 Cheap Trick, "The Flame"
3 AC/DC, "Whole Lotta Rosie"
4 Ted Nugent, "Wango Tango"
5 Percy Sledge, "When a Man Loves a Woman"
6 Otis Redding, "I've Been Lovin' You Too Long"
7 Foreigner, "Feels like the First Time"
8 Ted Nugent, "My Love Is like a Tire Iron"
9 The Rolling Stones, "Brown Sugar"
10 Ted Nugent, "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang"

A perfect set to throw on the stereo if you want to prove to your lover that your affection is so consuming that you've totally lost your marbles. Notice that the word "wang" appears three times - exactly the same number of times that Ted himself appears. Coincidence? Or is he a dick? (Take note of awesome smooth-jazz-quality punch line).

Complete Article: ThePhoenix.com (Boston)