When Ted Nugent takes the stage, you listen. You don't have a choice — the screaming guitars, classic rock riffs and wild-man stage presence demand attention.

It's a rock performance unlike any other.

Nugent was unavailable for an interview with me, but I can tell you from experience what you should expect at Saturday's performance.

I've seen Nugent perform twice: once at a concert at Playmaker's Pavilion in Fargo, N.D., in the late 1990s and again at Rockin' the Hills in Bottineau, N.D., in 2001.

Actually, I played on the same bill as Ted Nugent at Rockin' the Hills — I was on Stage Three with my band Caijed while Nugent headlined the main stage the last night of the three-day rock festival. Quiet Riot, who is also performing at Half-Way Jam, was on the Rockin' the Hills bill as well.

If you've never been to a Nugent concert, prepare yourself for one of the loudest experiences of your life. Here are a few things you should know:

» The first chord from the Nuge's Gibson Byrdland guitar will make your head vibrate and send a tingle down your spine. Nugent plays fast and loud — really fast and really loud. The sheer volume of Nugent live is louder than any live concert I've ever experienced, and I've seen some of the loudest and heaviest bands around — Slayer, Pantera and System of a Down, to name a few.

The old saying goes, "If it's too loud, you're too old." Even though Nugent is nearing 60, he's definitely not too old. If you're on the verge of elderly status, bring earplugs — and maybe a pair of camouflage earmuffs, too.

» Nugent is an avid hunter and supporter of the National Rifle Association. He often brandishes a few firearms onstage — not firing live rounds, but holding them up with pride and ranting about his right to kill his own food. He has been known to shoot arrows during his set with a bow or crossbow.

Be ready to hear a few lectures on freedom and the rights of gun owners from an overtly Republican perspective.

» Your ability to drink your weight in beer will not impress the Nuge. Nugent has admirably stuck by his lifelong anti-drugs and anti-drinking stance throughout his career. His sober stance makes his sometimes offensive banter seem intelligently researched and sharply stated.

» At 59 years old, Ted Nugent isn't as prone to taking the stage in his traditional wild-man garb — loin cloth, Native American headdresses, etc. — but he does pull out some of the old schtick from time to time.

At his Rockin' the Hills performance, he wore an animal tail on the back of his jeans.

» You will likely hear new material from his first studio album in five years, "Love Grenade." The album, which comes out in August, includes songs such as "Girl Scout Cookies," an innuendo-packed song that will make the meek blush, and a title track that echoes the traditional wild-man flavor the Nuge has been putting out since the late 1970s.

Even though Nugent has some new material, a majority of his set includes classics such as "Stranglehold," "Cat Scratch Fever" and "Wango Tango."

» Oh yeah, and did I mention it's going to be loud?

Uncle Ted trivia

1. What is the title of Ted Nugent’s new album that comes out in August?
2. Ted Nugent’s drummer “Wild” Mick Brown is the cofounder of what ’80s rock band?
3. What was Ted Nugent’s first major-label band?
4. What band’s singer on the Half-Way Jam lineup did Ted Nugent used to perform
with in the group Damn Yankees?
5. What is Ted Nugent’s signature gun ammunition by Corbon called?
6. What is the name of Ted Nugent’s published autobiography?
7. What meat does Uncle Ted call “the wonder food”?
8. What Gibson model guitar is Ted Nugent most often associated with?
9. What was the name of the band formed with Ted Nugent on VH1’s celebreality show “SuperGroup”?
10. True or False: Ted Nugent was sworn in as a Michigan County sheriff deputy in 1978.

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Answers: 1. “Love Grenade” 2. Dokken 3. The Amboy Dukes 4. Night Ranger 5. WhackMaster 6. “God, Guns & Rock ‘n’ Roll” 7. Venison 8. Byrdland 9. Damnocracy 10. True

Ted Nugent concert survival kit

Here is what you need to survive a Ted Nugent show:

» Earplugs » An air guitar » The lyrics to “Cat Scratch Fever,” “Stranglehold” and “Wango Tango” » Gonzo Meat Biltong (Nugent’s own brand of beef jerky) » A backup air guitar » A camouflage or blaze orange hat » An American flag » Backup
earplugs