Doing the Lord's Work
"Amen! Brother! Preach it!"
People were shouting, clapping, and raising their hands to the sky, some sitting in the pews, others standing, but if there had been decent aisles they surely would have rolled on down with all the fervor one finds on a Sunday morning in an all-black church below the Mason-Dixon Line! It was a good day to give the devils some hell!
But I wasn't in the deep south, not by a long shot. I wasn't even in a building with a steeple. I was riveted to my pew, cocked, locked and ready to rock, deep within the bowels of Miller Auditorium at Western Michigan University. I was sitting in reverence and shock and awe, studying the doctrine of common sense, worshipping under the tutelage of the greatest fire and brimstone preacher of our time. No, it wasn't Billy Graham and it sure as hell wasn't the Reverend Al Sharpton. It was the mighty Reverend Ted Nugent and I was basking in the warmth and glowfire of the First Nugent Church of Sonic Bombast and God, Guns, and Rock-n-roll!
The Reverend Nugent paced back and forth across the front of the stage like a caged animal in heat! He would not be denied and his voice would not be silenced!
"You're either in the asset column of America or the liability column. I've been in the asset column ever since 1948. Sometimes my dad had to force me to be there, but I was always there. In the asset column you've got a clean, healthy lifestyle, you've got the ten commandments and family and serving your country. In the liability column you've got smoking, alcohol, drugs and people sleeping in and collecting a welfare check! But I say if you don't work then you don't eat! I say that every able-bodied person in this country should get off their fat ass and, dare I say it? Get a ******* job!"
The congregation erupted into applause once more and the Reverend Nugent paused to wait them out. But he didn't wait too long, because tonight his timing was perfect; his wit was sharp and cutting like a Grizzly bear's claw, and he didn't want to give the parishioners time to rest. Tonight, the Reverend Madman was in true form; he was picture-perfect; he was an All-American conservative icon with tooth, fang and claw. He was Norman Rockwell with an attitude!
"And then you've got the Supremes in their holy, black robes who have the audacity and the ignorance to debate whether or not we have the individual God-given right to keep and bear arms! Now, folks, I'm just a guitar player, but I know free men. I work, play, hunt, fish, rock and hang with free men everyday. We know in our hearts and souls that God gave us the sacred gift of life, and with this sacred gift comes the self-evident truth that we have the God-given right and spiritual duty to defend that gift. KEEP means "it is mine, you can't have it".
Once again ear-thumping applause boomed out as if on cue. I was in the front row, on the edge of the pew, leaning on every word. The adrenaline was pumping like liquid iron through my veins imbuing me with courage, reminding me that once upon a time this country was free. Finally, the applause died down and Pastor Nugent continued with renewed fervor.
"BEAR means "yes, I have it right here on me! All the time!"
More applause and Ted tapped the omnipresent Brother Kimber on his strong side.
"SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED is not ambiguous. It means don't tread on me! It means leave me alone!"
Even louder applause!
"And now a word about these stupid gun-free zones. Oh, by the way, did I mention that before I walked in the room this place was a gun-free zone?"
The reverend paused for effect and grinned that patented Cheshire-cat-scratch-fever-like smile of his before moving in for the kill, no pun intended.
"That the worse slaughters of innocent lives have occurred in "gun free zones" is an outrage that all good American families must fight hard to eradicate. America must ban gun free zones now! No more forcibly unarmed helpless sheep to slaughter! We rally for good over evil, not the gun free zone guarantee of evil over good. We the people are the National Rifle Association and the Second Amendment IS our concealed weapons permit!"
The applause erupted even louder than before. My ears were ringing and my heart was working overtime to force the newfound liquid iron through my body. A sudden sadness followed by immediate anger swept over me as I looked down at my strong side, now rendered weak and impotent. I felt the empty holster beneath my shirt and knew, at that moment, that I had been forcibly disarmed by the senseless laws of a liberal legislature and the so-called conservatives without the backbone and intelligence to prevail against them. Before entering the auditorium, I had unloaded my Smith and Wesson MP 9 millimeter and left it unattended in the car. And then the reality of my predicament swept over me like a wave of True North magma, burning my heart and searing itself forever into my soul: "In order to remain an honest, law-abiding citizen, my elected leaders had disarmed me, in essence transforming me into a mere serf, a subject, a vassal and ward of the state, depending upon them for the very lifeblood that flowed through my veins. Without my gun, I was at their mercy. Suddenly, I no longer trusted them, not even their so-called "good intentions". Just as the leaders of the Spanish Inquisition had abused their self-proclaimed God-given authority, so had our own legislators abused their responsibility to serve us, the citizens, we the people of this great country.
When the Reverend Nugent closed his sermon over 2 hours after it began, he lifted us up, exhorting us to new heights, challenging us to press on in the fight.
"In summary, let me tell you that we all have a lot of work to do. We have to take this state back, and we have to take this country back. We have to write letters to our Congressmen and to the media, and we have to tell them we're not going to take this bullshit any longer! Aside from that we all have friends and family who don't vote or who don't believe in our rights. Talk to them. Speak out! Let them know how you feel about it!"
As the applause erupted again, I realized that Ted Nugent was more than just a cultural icon, more than a rock star, and more than just a reverend with an axe to grind. He was a prophet, like the ones of old, imploring us to return to the principles of God, Family and Country. His words, and the steel visage of his face and courage reminded me of the words of God to the wisest man on earth, King Solomon: "If my people, who are called by my name, shall humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and I will heal their land."
Last night, the secular brick, mortar and stone of Miller auditorium was consecrated, was set apart for a more holy purpose, it was honored with a message from God - a message that could very well save America. "The pimps, whores, and welfare brats; the chimps who have taken over the asylum, threatening to forever transform our great world into the planet of the apes must be opposed and defeated with every breath and molecule we possess. There is no excuse. We've been forewarned.
And now, as I sit safely in my living room, with my Smith and Wesson at my side as loyal as a hunting dog, I tell you that it's up to each one of us to heed the call and do the right thing. Now, Godspeed to you and stop caring what liberal idiots think about you. Roll up your sleeves, say a prayer and TAKE OUR NATION BACK!
Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition!
Skip Coryell lives with his wife and children in Michigan. He is the author of five books including Blood in the Streets: Concealed Carry and the OK Corral, the hunting novel Bond of Unseen Blood, and the Second Amendment novel We Hold These Truths. He is an NRA Instructor and co-owner of Midwest Tactical Training, teaching CPL classes in both Michigan and Iowa. To find out more about Skip, his classes and his writing, go to www.skipcoryell.com and www.mwtac.com .