- 1. Beer For My Horses – Toby Keith & Willie Nelson
Lyrics
Well a man come on the 6 o’clock news
Said somebody’s been shot, somebody’s been abused
Somebody blew up a building
Somebody stole a car
Somebody got away
Somebody didn’t get too far yeah
They didn’t get too far
Grandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street for all the people to see that
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune
We’ll all meet back at the local saloon
We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses
We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
We’ve got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets
It’s time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send ’em all to their maker and he’ll settle ’em down
You can bet he’ll set ’em down ’cause
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune
We’ll all meet back at the local saloon
We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune
We’ll all meet back at the local saloon
We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses
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- 2. Off The Hillbilly Hook – Trailer Choir
Lyrics
Im on a haystack kickin back three bails high
A flatbed stage and a full moon light
Party on the farm all night long
With the moonshine flowin’ till the break of dawn
Got the bonfires burnin like the stars in the sky
Were goin skinny dippin in the creek near by
Trollin’ for some lovin, goin fishin in the dark
So pull on up and throw your truck in park
Its off the hillbilly hook, off the redneck chain
Join the rebel revolution, its a runaway train
We’re country boys and girls, take a real good look
We’re gonna show you how to rock it off the hillbilly hook
Shake it side to side, get ready to ride
Im a red neck fool in a four wheel drive
Got a 12 gauge underneath the seat
Gonna a raise a little hell to a down on beat
Get as loud as you want cause we just dont care
Were screamin’ Lynyrd Skynyrd with our hands in the air
So grab a couple coolers and a couple of friends
Its a crazy kind of party that just dont end
Its off the hillbilly hook, off the redneck chain
Join the rebel revolution, its a runaway train
We’re country boys and girls, take a real good look
We’re gonna show you how to rock it off the hillbilly hook
Get up, get up, kick off them boots
Get up, get up, you got nothin’ to lose
Get up, get up, kick off them boots
Get up, get up, let us rock you, yeah
Its off the hillbilly hook, off the redneck chain
Join the rebel revolution, its a runaway train
We’re country boys and girls, take a real good look
We’re gonna show you how to rock it off the hillbilly hook
Its off the hillbilly hook, off the redneck chain
Its a family tradition that aint never gonna change
We’re country boys and girls, take a real good look
Were gonna show you how to rock it off the hillbilly hook
Get up, get up
Get up, get up, oh yeah
Get up, get up
Get up, get up
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, its off the hillbilly hook
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- 3. Cat Scratch Fever
Lyrics
Well, I don’t know where they come from but they sure do come
I hope they comin’ for me
And I don’t know how they do it but they sure do it good
I hope they’re doin’ it for free
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Well, the first time that I got it I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
An’ I went to see the doctor and he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
I got a bad scratch fever
The cat scratch fever
It’s nothin’ dangerous
I feel no pain
I’ve got the choo-choo train
You know you got it when you, you’re going insane
It makes a grown man cry, cry, oh won’t you make my bed
Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand
They know they gettin’ it from me
They know just where to go when they need their lovin’ man
They know I’m doin’ it for free
I give them cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
They got a bad scratch fever
The cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
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- 5. Choctaw Bingo – James McMurty
Lyrics
Strap them kids in
Give ’em a little bit of vodka in a cherry coke
We’re going to Oklahoma to the family reunion for the first time in years
It’s up at uncle Slayton’s cause he’s getting on in years
You know he no longer travels but he’s still pretty spry
He’s not much on talking and he’s just too mean to die
And they’ll be comin’ down from Kansas
And from west Arkansas
It’ll be one great big old party like you never saw
Uncle Slayton’s got his Texan pride
Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
He’s got a Airstream trailer and a Holstein cow
He still makes whiskey ’cause he still knows how
He plats that Choctaw bingo every Friday night
You know he had to leave Texas but he won’t say why
He owns a quarter section up by Lake Eufala
Caught a great big ol’ blue cat on a driftin’ jug line
Sells his hardwood timber to the shipping mill
Cooks that crystal meth because the shine don’t sell
He cooks that crystal meth because the shine don’t sell
You know he likes his money he don’t mind the smell
My cousin Roscoe Slayton’s oldest boy from his second marriage up in Illinois
He was raised in East St. Louis by his momma’s people
Where they do things different
Thought he’d just come on down
He was going to Dallas Texas in a semi truck called from that big McDonald’s
You know the one they built up on that great big ol’ bridge
Across the Will Rogers Turnpike
Took the Big Cabin exit stopped and bought a couple of cartons of cigarettes
At that Indian Smoke Shop with the big neon smoke rings
In the Cherokee Nation hit Muskogee late that night
Somebody ran a stoplight at the Shawnee Bypass
Roscoe tried to miss ’em but he didn’t quite
Bob and Mae come up from little town
Way down by lake Texoma where he coaches football
They were two A champions now for two years running
But he says they won’t be this year no they won’t be this year
And he stopped off in Tushka at that “Pop’s Knife and Gun” place
Bought a SKS rifle and a couple a full cases of that steel core ammo
With the berdan primers from some East bloc nation that no longer needs ’em
And a Desert Eagle that’s one great big ol’ pistol
I mean .50 caliber made by bad ass Hebrews
And some surplus tracers for that old BAR of Slayton’s
Soon as it gets dark we’re gonna have us a time
We’re gonna have us a time
Ruth Ann and Lynn come down from Baxter Springs
That’s one hell raisin’ town way up in Southeastern Kansas
Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store
That’s got them Rolling Stones lips up there where everyone can see ’em
And they burn all night you know they burn all night you know they burn all night
Ruth Ann and Lynn they wear them cut off britches and those skinny little halters
And they’re second cousins to me
Man I don’t care I want to get between ’em
With a great big ol’ hard on like a old bois d’ arc fence post
You could hang a pipe rail gait from
Do some twisted sisters ’til the cows come home
And we’d be havin’ us a time
Uncle Slayton’s got his Texan pride
Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
He’s cut that corner pasture into acre lots’
He sells ’em owner financed
Strictly to them that’s got no kind of credit ’cause he knows they’re slackers
When they miss that payment
Then he takes it back
He plays that Choctaw Bingo every Friday night
Drinks that Johnny Walker at that Club 69
We’re gonna strap them kids in give ’em a little bit o’ Benadryl
And a cherry coke we’re goin’ to Oklahoma Gonna have us a time
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- 6. No Mass Cerveza – Mac Davis
Lyrics
Well how did I wind up down here in Mexico
Wearin’ this serapio
And this old sombrero
Who are all these strangers
Callin’ me amigo
Where’s did I leave my pickup truck,
And where did my paycheck go
Ohh
The last thing I remember was in Old Paso
She was saying
Adios I’ve got to go
And I was begging baby please
I love you so
Then what happened after that
Well god only knows.
Oh no mas cerveza
I’ve had too much to drink
…
My head hurts and I can’t think
I’ll never drink her off my mind
So don’t pour me anymore
No mas cerveza mucho gracias senor
My clothes smell like nachos
Ald old saccy’s beer
This softy mariachi
Is pounding in my ear
I still can’t figure out
Just what I’m doing here
I wish I could make myself
Just up and disapear
Oh the place is really paked
And its a lively crowd
It ain’t as big as Billy Bob’s
But it sure is loud
The waitress ain’t real pretty
But She’s well in doubt
She said we got engaged last night
And shouldnt I be proud
Oh no mas cerveza
I’ve had too much to drink
…
My head hurts and I can’t think
I’ll never drink her off my mind
Dont pour me anymore
No mas cerveza mucho gracias senor
They call a song
Esta loto my poor heart is broken
I’ve gone loco
And on the verge of tears
I don’t want no margaritas
No brown eyed sessoritas
And I sure as hell don’t need another beer
Oh no mas cerveza
I’ve had too much to drink
…
My head hurts and I can’t think
I’ll never drink her off my mind
So don’t pour me anymore
No mas cerveza mucho gracias senor
Oh no mas cerveza
I’ve had too much to drink
…
My head hurts and I can’t think
I’ll never drink her off my mind
So don’t pour me anymore
No mas cerveza mucho gracias senor
Oh no mas cerveza mucho gracias senor
Ariba
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- 7. Stranglehold
Lyrics
Here I come again now, baby
Like a dog in heat
Tell it’s me by the clamor now baby
I like to tear up the street,
Now I been smokin for so long,
Ya know I’m here to stay
Got you in a stranglehold, baby
You best get outta the way
The road I cruise is a bitch now, baby
But no, you can’t turn me round
And if a house gets in my way, baby
Ya know I’ll burn it down
You ran the night that you left me
You put me in my place
I got you in a stranglehold, baby
You better trust your fate
Yeah
Sometimes you wanna get higher
And sometimes you gotta start low
Some people think they gonna die someday
I got news, ya never got to go
C’mon c’mon up
C’mon c’mon up
C’mon c’mon up
C’mon c’mon up
C’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon baby
C’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon up
C’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon baby
C’mon c’mon c’mon
Road I cruise is a bitch now
Ya know ya can’t turn me round
And if a house gets in my way
Ya know I’ll burn it down
You ran the night that you left me
You put me in my place
I got you in a stranglehold, baby
That night I crushed your face
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- 8. Burning Memories – Mel Tillis
Lyrics
Tonight I’m burning old love letters
Photographs and memories of you
Hoping somehow I’ll feel better
And when the smoke is gone I won’t want you
Burning memories
(Teardrops fall while I am)
Burning memories
Burning all those memories of you that I can’t lose
My heart to you no longer matters
And I can’t live on memories
Into the fire those dreams you’ve shattered
And when the smoke is gone then I’ll be free
Burning memories
(Teardrops fall while I am)
Burning all those memories of you that I can’t lose
Oh, those burning mem’ries
(Teardrops fall while I am)
Burning memories
(Teardrops fall while I am)
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- 9. Song Of Blue – Carter’s Chord
Lyrics
Sing to me a song that’s blue
And I’ll paint my eyes blue that’s what I’ll do
And if the sun is shining through
I’ll smile for you
I’ll smile for you
Cuz I’m in love with your music
And I’m in love with your song
Yeah and I’m in love with the days
You make the moments seem long
You make the moments seem long
Sing to me a song that bleeds
So I can hold your wounds close to me
And if you feel like kissing me baby
I’ll try hard to breathe
I’ll try my hardest to breathe
Cuz I’m in love with your music
And I’m in love with your song
Yeah and I’m in love with the days
You make the moments seem long
You make the moments seem long
And I’m sick of the world
Laying emptiness at my feet
And I’m sick of the lies
That keep burning my mind ’til it bleeds
You came from a shore that
Can wash my hands clean
Now I’m free
I’m free to be me
Yeah
Cuz I’m in love with your music
And I’m in love with your song
Yeah and I’m in love with the days
You make the moments seem long
You make the moments seem long
You make the moments seem long
You make the moments seem long
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- 10. Show Them To Me – Rodney Carrington
Lyrics
Oh it seems to me this whole world’s gone crazy
There’s too much hate and killin goin on
But when I see the bare chest of a woman
My worrys and my problems are all gone
No one thinks of fightin, when they see a topless girl
And maybe if you would show yours too, we could save the world
Show them to me, show them to me
Unclasp your bra and set those puppies free
They’d look a whole lot better without that sweater baby I’m sure you’ll agree
If you got, two fun bags,
Show them to me
I don’t care if they don’t match or ones bigger than the other
You could show me one, and I’ll imagine the other
Even if you’re really old, theres nothing wrong
Don’t be sad your boobs ain’t bad, they’re just a little long
Show them to me, show them to me
Lift up your shirt and let the whole world see
Just disrobe, show your globes and a happy man I’ll be
If you got, dos chichi’s,
Show them to me
I’ve met a lot of them, but never one I’ve hated
Even if you’ve had thirteen kids and you think they look deflated
Theres no such thing as a bad breast, I believe this much is true
If you’re a big fat man I’m a titty fan and I’d love to see yours toooo
Show them to me, show them to me
Just like the girls gone wild on T.V.
Just lean back and show your rack and I’ll be in ecstasy
If you got two casabas
Show them to me
All the world will live in harmony
It’ll do you good, it’ll give me wood, we’ll make history
If you love your country, I’m gonna say it one more time,
I said if you love your country yea
Then stand your ass up and show them big old titties to me
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- 11. If That Ain’t Country, Part 2 – David Allen Coe
Lyrics
The old man was covered with tattoos and scars
He got some in prison and others in bars
The rest he got working’ on old junk cars
In the daytime
They looked like tombstones in our yard
And I never seen him when he wasn’t tired and mean
He sold used parts to make ends meet
Covered with grease from his head to his feet
Cussing the sweat and the texas heat
And skeeters
And the neighbors said we lived like hicks
But they brung their cars for pa to fix anyhow
He was veteran-proud, tried and true
He’d fought till his heart was black and blue
Didn’t know how he’d made it through the hard times
He bought our house on the G.I. bill
But it wasn’t worth all he had to kill to get it
He drank pearl in a can and jack daniels black
Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack
Had an old dog that was trained to attack
Sometimes he’d get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake
And there wasn’t too much
That he would take from a stranger
There were thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs
A house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs
I spent the summertime cutting’ up logs for the winter
Trying’ like the devil to find the lord
Working’ like a nigger for my room and board
Coal-burin’ stove, no natural gas
If that ain’t country, I’ll kiss your ass
If that ain’t country,
It’ll hair lip the pope
If that ain’t country, it’s a damn good joke
I’ve seen the grand ole opry,
And I’ve met johnny cash
If that ain’t country, I’ll kiss your ass
Mama sells eggs at a grocery store
My oldest sister is a first-rate whore
Dad says she can’t come home anymore
And he means it
Ma just sits and keeps her silence
Sister, she left ’cause dad got violent
And he knows it
Mama she’s old far beyond her time
From chopping tobacco and I’ve seen her crying’
When blood started flowing’ from her calloused hand and
It hurt me
She’d just keep working’ trying’ to help the old man
To the end of one row and back again like always
She’s been through hell since junior went to jail
When the lights go out she ain’t never failed
To get down on her knees and pray
Because she loves him
Told all the neighbors he was off in the war
Fighting’ for freedom,
He’s good to the core and she’s proud
Now our place was a graveyard for automobiles
At the end of the porch there was four stacks of wheels
And tires for sale for a dollar or two cash
There was fifty holes in an old tin roof
Me and my family we was living’ proof
The people who forgot about poor white trash
And if that ain’t country, I’ll kiss your ass
If that ain’t country, it’ll hair lip the pope
If that ain’t country, it’s a damn good joke
I’ve seen the grand ole opry,
And I’ve met johnny cash
If that ain’t country, I’ll kiss your ass
I’m thinking tonight of my blue eyes
Concerning the great speckled bird
I didn’t know god made honky-tonk angels
And went back to the wild side of life
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- 12. Let’s Get Trashed – Mica Roberts w/ Toby Keith
Lyrics
I got a big ol’ paycheck burnin’ a hole in my jeans
Well, in that case, baby, won’t you spend a little bit on me?
Let’s get a bottle of whiskey and pain this town
Come on baby, what do you say?
Honey, let’s get trashed and throw it all away
I’m in couples classes and they are boring me half to death
Yeah and my old man lays around while I pick up his mess
Love ain’t suppose to be this much work, baby, it’s time to play
Honey, let’s get trashed and throw it all away
Well, it’s worth a good night of sin and all the trouble were gettin’ in
So if we are going to do it let’s do it right
Then let’s do it again
‘Cause you’re looking hot as a double shot
I bet the pleasure is worth the pain
Honey, let’s get trashed and throw it all away
Throw it away, boys, whoa, stop it
Yeah, I know she’s gonna get the house
And I know he is gonna kick me out
They are going to dump our stuff all over the yard
And sing our names around town
What’s done is done, let’s have our fun
Don’t care what the neighbors say
Honey, let’s get trashed and throw it all away
We got empty arms and a drink in our hands
And a whole lot of time to waste, whole lot of time to waste, yeah
Honey, let’s get trashed and throw it all away, hmm
Honey, let’s get trashed and throw it all away, oh, yeah
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